The first week of Big Brother 22 (AKA Big Brother All-Stars) has been a treat. We’ve been blessed with 16 fan-favorite players from all eras of the show. We saw Janelle and Kaysar narrowly avoid the block via the Safety Suite, and two low-key players up for eviction on Thursday night.

There’s plenty to discuss, so let’s do the damn thing.

The Safety Suite

I love the Safety Suite. I really do. Why? Well, it’s perfectly balanced, as all twists should be.

First of all, it’s only here for three weeks, which limits how much it can impact the game. It’s also only accessible once per player, so nobody can hog its protective powers. It only allows for one winner (or none at all) and is completely voluntary, so there is a fair shot for anyone to participate and win safety.

This week, we saw the (completely tolerable) extreme for the Safety Suite: the HOH’s two targets were the only participants, and they both won safety for the week, forcing the HOH to change course on his nominations.

Stupid twists are one of the main reasons I stopped watching Big Brother in recent years, but the rationally-conceived Safety Suite gives me hope for this season.

Alliances Galore

There are already too many tentative alliances to count, so let’s just talk about the ones most likely to impact the game.

Cody has made final-two deals with Nicole, Nashville, Dani, and Enzo. Tyler has established alliances with everyone in the house, and in fact everyone in the world. He’s going to final two with all of us. Are you excited?

Ian and Nicole have bonded as the house’s only winners; Da’Vonne and Bayleigh have come together with Cody and Meow-Meow; Janelle and Kaysar are still all-in on their alliance (part 3).

Basically, we’re going to have to give it some time to see which alliances stick.

The Competitions

Head of Household

As we covered in the premiere recap, that first HOH comp was a little tedious and drawn-out. It is what it is.

Safety Suite

The Safety Suite competition this week gave us a sick house remix of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” (anyone have that on their Bingo card?). It was all about memorizing a sequence of music. Fair enough for all.

This week, the Safety Suite was more a question of “Will Kaysar or Janelle get it in time to same themselves?” rather than “Is Kaysar or Janelle going to beat the other person?”

The answer is yes, and we’re all blessed to have two legends in the game for at least another week.

Power of Veto

Big Brother is notorious for creating competitions that one can’t help interpreting as innuendo. Holding onto wet bananas and sausages under the guise of “Big Brother’s Cookout” (or something) is par for the course.

So, true to form, the first POV competition of Big Brother 22 All-Stars is a banana-riding competition, where rocking a half-peeled banana back and forth grants you time to solve a fruit stacking puzzle.

(Honey, I could write an entire essay about riding bananas and stacking fruit. Oh, honey….

If you’re reading this, hi mom!)

Anyway, Enzo “Meow Meow” Palumbo wins, because our one gay representative in the house slipped up and let his time run out, eliminating himself from the competition. Enzo keeps the nominations the same, which helps Cody get through the week with just one would-be enemy: Kevin.

The First Eviction

Of the two nominees, why was Keesha evicted first? Let’s talk about it.

Kevin, the other nominee, has played a very weak game so far…which could be his strength (stay with me). He has shown virtually no confidence in his social skills so far, which may play to his benefit as it makes him a non-threat to the rest of the house. He let the Power of Veto slip away from him when it should have been his to win, further identifying himself as weak competition to the other houseguests.

The little giggle at the end has me screaming!

Keesha may not have shown any competitive prowess thus far, but she has been way more socially savvy than Kevin. In the short term at least, this is a hurdle. People love Keesha. I love Keesha. She could easily have worked her way into an alliance with just about anyone in the house. Although we never saw her trying to mastermind or overplay, she could easily have joined any number of alliances that Kevin simply couldn’t.

(I do wonder why Keesha would need to be 12 feet from Julie in the exit interview when she was isolated in the BB house, but better safe than sorry I guess?)

From Cody’s perspective, this eviction was the best-case scenario. Due to Kevin’s insecurity as a BB player, he is in a position where he will likely take anything he can get, and is therefore likely to remain loyal at least in the short-term.

Does it make sense for Kevin to feel indebted to the same men (Enzo and Cody) who failed to rescue him from the block? Not so much. Will he do it anyway? Yeah, probably, because what other choice does he have?

Thanks for sharing some tea with me today! Be sure to come back each week to talk about what’s new in the Big Brother 22 house. Xoxo, T.